Feels like I'm going to crack. I'm doing so much for others and have no time for myself. I have so much I want to say but no one around to listen. We are truly alone in this world and this is one of those times that serves as a reminder of that fact.

I wish I was stronger. I sometimes let out my feelings and then I feel as if everyone can see my weakness. I worry that I'm too annoying. That I need too much from others. I regularly wish I were more self-reliant and able to handle my own shit.

Maybe I need to find more self-strengthening activities. Things that give me an outlet without letting anyone know that I'm struggling. Perhaps that should be my 2025 resolution.

But those are all things that can be decided later. I don't have the strength or will to make those commitments now. For today, I drink margaritas and eat chips to stuff my feelings down.

I'll see how I feel tomorrow.